The Mission Impossibike
by clover the unfriendly ghost
Summary: Hanamichi Sakuragi was tired for being run over by Kaede Rukawa's bike. To stop this daily activity he planning to steal the bike, will his super iduper idea work dun dun dun Read & Rev. any comments, critics, flames are most welcome. my 1st Fic, one shot


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Title: **The Mission Immpossi_bike_**.

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Genre: Humor _[ I think … ]_.

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Author: a very cute creamy lemon haired kinda human being ].

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Disclaimer: I do not own Slam Dunk [ _hiks …hiks …_ TT _oh, why _…_???!!!!!, whata cruel fate …!!!! _] teryfying waves appears from behind , oh yah … song from **Nelly [No.1]** is not mine nor **the Mission Impossible theme song**. But still …. drool [ _I wish I could just have Mitsui Sempai that would be more than enough _] drool

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Warning: Well, it's just a little of Hanamichi-torture, NYAHAHAHA. What …!!! shrug I just can't control of myself for not doing that … NYAHAHAHAHA … [Sorry, Hana-kun].It's a **mild yaoi** kinda story. And the language … well, I try my best, since this is not my original language [_sorry if there's misspell or kind of messed up grammar … OK, _**:P** ].

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Dedications: I dedicated this fic to all of the member of Slam Dunk Bable Community, yaoi fans, all of Slam Dunk characters [ a very big PINK heart shaped eyes drool _Hhhh … Mitsui Sempai …_ ]. ;

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Summary : Hanamichi Sakuragi was tired for being run over by Kaede Rukawa's stupid pink bike. So, he was struck by a super duper idea to stop this everyday activity. Will his idea works … dun dun dun . Well, Read it for your self OK, one shot. This is my first fic, all of review, comments and criticisms also flames are most welcome. And if there are some of you guys wants to give me a poster of SD Charact. Or cheese cake, I'll except them with an open heart

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…. : Characters opinion or mind

[ … ]: author own state of mind.

EENNNNNNJoooYYY the SSTtttttoooryyy ne….!!!!

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Slam Dunk Opening Theme

[ Kimi ga suki dato sakebitai]

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Monday, Seven forty-five a.m.

Shohoku High Main Entrance

It's a very sunny Monday morning. The self-proclaimed Tensai walks together with his Guntai; Yohei, Nouma, Takamiya, Ookutsu. They entering the school gate.

Hanamichi: yawn and stretching his upper body .

Youhei: It's seems like you have a very good night sleep, right Hana-kun.

Nouma: nod Hmm…. After all of this night having insomnia caused by basketball practice.

Takamiya: point at the school gate Hey guys looks who's coming!

All the guys look at the school gate.

Haruko and her friend, Fujii, are entering the school gate. They laugh cheerfully.

Haruko notice that the red head is watching them.

Haruko: waving her right hand Hanamichi-kun …ohayou…!!!!

Hanamichi: chibi mode Ha-haruko-chan heart, joyful tears coming out of his eyes .

In a couple minutes later all of the member of Shohoku Basket Ball Team from third year are entering the schoolyard.

Mitsui: Ohayou minna … [_oh God, he looks dead gorgeous in the morning_]

Akagi: Morning.

Kogure: Ohayou … ee, Hanamichi, wow … sugoi, you're not late.

Hanamichi: laughing tensai pose NYAHAHAHAHA …of course, The tensai is never late, 'cause the tensai is pretty good in managing time ... NYAHAHAHAHAAAA … !!!!

The Narcoleptic Rukawa suddenly comes out nowhere with his well-known pink bike. He run over Hanamichi's successfully perfectly.

Hanamichi: chibi mode angry with smokes comes out of his ears Hmmph …… baka kitsune. TEME …!!!!

Haruko: chibi mode eyes turn into pink hearts Ah…. Rukawa-kun

Rukawa: still riding his pink bike away and drooling away ZZZzzzzzz…….

Hanamichi: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BAKA KITSSSUNEEEEE ….!!!

The Guntai's: grap Hanamichi's waist Asenna yo, Hana-kun !!!!

Hanamichi: Lemme gooo …. !!!!

Rukawa: ZZzzzzzzzzzz …..

Hanamichi: COME BACK HERE YOU FOX FACE !!! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU … !!! KUSSO …!!! I'M GONNA GET YOU !!! KONO KUSSOTTARE KITSUNE … !!!!

Rukawa: still riding his stupid pink bike away a little stomping Zzzzzzz …

Shinetai's: exclaims their fangirl scream eyes turn into pink hearts KYYAAAA … RUKAAWAA …!!!!!!

Youhei: shrug Hhhh ….

MitKoAka: chibi mode ……

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The Mission Impossi_bike_.

The Lessons are finally begun. Just like the normal day in class 1-5. The laughing maniac Sakuragi is flying around somewhere in dreamland and muttering the brunette's hair name with a drool leek out from the edge of his lips.

Hanamichi: chibi mode resting his head on his arm on the desk Hyumhh … Haruko

Youhei, his best buddies just smile when watch his act. While a stress mark start to poped out from the match teacher forehead. _CRAACK_. The sound of a broken chalk can be heard from the front of the class.

Everybody: gulp sweat drops

Hanamichi: still drooling and mutter Hhhyummhh … Haruko

Math Teacher: stress marks popped out one by one Hhhmpph … HA-NA-MI-CHI-SA-KU-RA-GIIIIII. WAKE UPPP !!! Whack Hanamichi with a rolled math book WAKE UPP !!!

Meanwhile in class 1-10. Our loveable Ice Prince who sit in the back row is stuck in a dead boring History Class. The quiet boy who seemed to be intently observating the track of his table inch by inch wishing that the time quickly passed bye. His icy blue eyes are beginning to droop. And then …

Rukawa: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …

Ru Classmate: stand from his desk Sir, Rukawa is sleeping again.

Rukawa: ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …

History Teacher: still writing on the black board don't give a damn Just leave him alone … he'll get detention later.

Rukawa: chibi mode drool Hmmh … Do'aho drool …

Everybody: sweat drop

**__**

Monday, at noon.

Shohoku High Cafetaria

The Cafeteria is pretty crowded [_Duh, it's Monday … everywhere always crowded when it comes to "Monday"_]. Murmurs and laugh are filling in the atmosphere. The self-proclaimed Rebound King and his companions are sitting in the corner.

Hanamichi: I must do something to stop that humiliating thing that always happened every morning.

Nouma: mouth full with _ramen_ Mmw-whathm t-thing … sluurrp …

Hanamichi: You know … "the run over by a stupid pink bike in the morning _"thing"_".

Takamiya: Oh … that "thing".

Ookutsu: chewing a blueberry gum Hen da naa ?

HanaNouTa: chibi mode Eee … weird, what d'you mean ??? a big question mark burst out

Ookutsu: Yah. You know … of all fucking people why it must be Hanamichi.

Youhei: Hontoda hontoda. I agree. Maybe there's something.

Hanamichi : chibi mode start thinking vicious looking eyes _Ehmm … maybe that sly fox finally admitted the Tensai ability and regard that I, Hanamichi Sakuragi the only Tensai and Rebound King in Shohoku Basket Ball Team_ [ _Yeah right !_ ] _as his mortal opponent …_NYAHAHAHAHAHA … laughing tensai pose

Everybody in Caf. : Sweat drops

Hanamichi : chibi mode The Great Mount Fuji as his background NYAHAHAHAHA …!!!!

Youhei: Or maybe, that Rukawa has a hot for you.

Hanamichi: snap out from his own world "...",

Nouma: Yeah. I agree.

Takamiya: Maybe he does that to attract your attention, Hana-kun.

Oukutsu: nod Un, could be …

The guntai: chibi mode nods together Un ….

Hanamichi: flaming death glare NANI ….!!!! Head butt his friends one by one, then leaving them who is still lying around on the floor

Hanamichi: mumble grumble

Ookutsu: lying on the floor I think he pissed off.

Takamiya: also still lying on the floor yeah. You shouldn't have said it that clearly, Mito

Youhei: sorry, guys, it's supposed to be a joke

The guntai: Awww, itaiiii.

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Shohoku High, Class 1-10

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RRRRIIIIINGGG

The bell is ringing. Hhh … such a nice voice. It's shows to the blue icy eye kitsune that the class is over.

Rukawa: _I think I'll sleep for a while before go home_ . Packing his stuff

Rukawa walks lazily heading to the rooftop. [_Dude, where you're going. You've got detention for sleeping during the History Class like couple hours ago ... Hello !!!_].

Rukawa: snapped mind _Oh, yeah. Detention. …_ Gasp Damn .…

Rukawa turn his steps to the detention room. [_How can he forget about it. It's like his natural routine activity after school, right. Get detention everyday for sleeping during the lesson. Hhh …, A'ho_]. He walks reluctantly through the half-crowded corridor to the detention room, passing rows of several whispering girls. Their blushes could be seen a mile away.

Girl #1: Hora. It's Rukawa-kun !!!

Girl #2: Saikou kawaiii !!!

Girl #3: I wish I could be his type. [_Fortunately, you're not_].

Rukawa: hang his bag on his back ………..

Girls: eyes turn into a major pink hearts RUKAWA …

Boys: sweat drops .

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Shohoku High, Parking Area

PLAN A; LET THE AIR OUT

Meanwhile at the same time The Five Stooges are in the Parking Area, they're gonna engage their "Plan A".

Hanamichi: Okay, guys. We're gonna do my first super duper plan, we're gonna make "a flat tire".

Nouma: Why don't we just crash the god damn bike ?!

Takamiya: Yeah. It's gonna solve the problem in instant right.

Youhei: sweat drop Don't you think, you're guys a little extreme.

They're heading to the sum of rows of bike. Hanamichi gonna take the first row. Youhei gonna take the second row. Nouma the third row. Takamiya the fourth row. And Ookutsu the next rows. It's kinda hard to find Rukawa's bike, 'coz … surprise - surprise … what do you know … they're … A LOT of pink bike in the area.

Hanamichi: grab his head dropped jaw WHATT THE … !!!

Ookutsu: sweat drop I never THOUGHT there'll be A LOT OF STUPID PINK BIKE here.

Takamiya: chibi mode sweat drop rub his eyes open rub - rub …………..

Nouma: chibi mode sweat drop Yeah …

Youhei: Errr … guys, sorry to bother your feeling of amazement. But … which one is Rukawa's bike.

HaOoTakaNou: chibi mode major sweat drop Errrr.

In the middle of fluster and panicky moment, suddenly …

Haruko: Hanamichi-kun … !!! Run approaching the Gang

Huff … huff … what do you guys doing here ?

The 5 Stooges: chibi mode laugh nervously We-we're j-just … ehehehe …

Youhei: Er … Haruko-chan what do you doing here? [_Nice moves there, Mito_]

Haruko: Oh … I have an appointment with my friends here. We're gonna go to the new Café.

HanaOoTakaNou : chibi mode Phew …

Youhei: O … sou ka.

Haruko: snapped mind It's Rukawa's bike. Look at pink bike next to Hanamichi

Hanamichi: chibi mode point at the bike next to him

Ookutsu: How do you know? I mean there's a lot of pink bike here.

Haruko: blushing Er… it's because …

Fujii: Hey … Haruko, c'mon !!!

Haruko: Eh.. . Sorry guys got to go now. Be seeing you tomorrow, OK .

S. Guntai: Jya mata ne, Haruko-chan !!!

Hanamichi: Ki otsukete ne !!! [Big stupid smile] NYAHAHAHAHA …

The 5 Stooges: chibi mode - turning around - giggles Fufufuufuufu …

Nouma: chibi mode Talking about LUCKY …!

Ookutsu: chibi mode - giggles Yeah … hihihi ….

Hanamichi, Mito, Ookutsu, Takamiya, and Nouma are so happy to find the kitsune's bike, but they don't know that not far from where they stand three pairs of flaming eyes are watching the stooges' acts.

Nouma: C'mon hurry up !!

Ookutsu: turn his head to checking the surroundings C'mon Hana-kun!!

Hanamichi: turn his head to NoOo death glare head butt

NouOo: lying on the floor Aawwwwww, itaiiii

Youhei: sweatdrop I think you guys should just shut up,

Takamiya: nod Un … un…

Hanimichi: chibi mode _fufufufu…take that you baka kitsune, fufufu …_ imagining chibi fox Rukawa cry when he saw his bike mwehehehehe …

Suddenly …

Mysterious voice : WHHATTT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO …. !!!!!!!!!!!!

The stooges: chibi mode turn their heads slowly inch by inch … !!!!! Dart back major sweat drop

The voices are from, you know whom, the shinetai's and a lot of Rukawa's fan club members [_I don't know, maybe 20 or 30 or 40's of them_]. Their eyes are glimmering with anger with hell flame as their background. They're holdings a deadly weapon like brooms, baseball sticks, nunchaku's and shuriken's [_ninja's weapon, wow_] and sharp fake nails, etc.

Shinetai Ru: I ask you once more, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO !

Shinetai Ka: Look it's the red head. You must be planning to hurt him aren't you ?!!

Shinetai Wa: Yeah, you always have a feeling of jealously to our Rukawa.

All of FC's: YEAHHHHHHHHHH … !!!!!!!1

Hanamichi: Me, the Tensai, jealous of that filthy kitsune, blah … you must be kidding me !!

TaNouOu: So You're not ??!

Hanamichi: head butts them

Youhei: sweat drop

Shinetai Ka: So, what d'you doing here ?! Find yourself a lunch or something ?!

Hanamichi: chibi mode Well, … err… I-I just, well, that Kitsune told me to check his bike,

Shinetai's: disbelieve glare

Hanamichi: cross his arm on his chest As all of you know, me and the kitsu, er I mean Rukawa [_speak with a very heavy tone_] are in the same team. And there's this present rumor that said that there's a lot of missing bike recently. So, he ask me to check out for his bike since he now get a detention _good for you, baka kitsune_. I must admitted that my relationship with that kitsu, I mean Rukawa [_there goes another heavy tone again_] are not good but despite of that I'm a man with an incredibly generous heart. I know, I know what are you thinking of, … me, the basketball genius is a very good kind of person after all. Turn into Angel Hanamichi with golden light around his features NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA ….. !!!!!

EVERYBODY: A VERY VERY VERY MAJOR SWEAT DROP

Hanamichi: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA …

The self-proclaimed Tensai of Basketball keep on laughing, 'till he feels a very dangerous killer instinct.

Hanamichi: chibi mode NYAHAHAHAHA, " … er …"

Shinetai's: very dark aura hundreds of thunder are starts to appear

Nouma: Eer … guys. I have a bad feeling about this.

Takamiya: Yeah, a very very BAD one.

Ookutsu: This is so not safe …

Youhei: Un … shall we run for our live now,

Hanamichi: YOU DAMN RIGHT, … RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!

Shinetai's: exclaims LLET'S GET THEMMMMMMMM … !!!!!!!!!!

FC members: YEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH … !!!!!!!

Hhhhh … finally the chase is beginning. Both sides are chasing around the schoolyard, while the original bike owner watching it from the window of the detention classroom.

Rukawa: yawn droopy eyes … Hhhh …

Hanamichi: chibi mode hits by the weapons ARRGH … BY THE NAME OF WORLD PEACE AND HUMANITY … I COMMAND YOU TO STOP IT RIGHT NOOOOWW

Rukawa: … Do'aho …

**__**

Tuesday, twelve o'clock in the middle of the night.

PLAN B; ON THE SLY.

Halfway block of Rukawa's house

Takamiya: Hanamichi, we're going to wait for you at the edge of the block.

Hanamichi: WHAT !!! I thought it supposed to be doing in-a group thing.

Nouma: Hanamichi, can't you see these bruises on our face.

Ookutsu : After the serial punches and kicks, I promise to myself that I'll be at least ten kilometers away from anything to do with that kitsune. tears comes out of his eyes .

Hanamichi: see the trio faces sweat drop Fine … I'll do it by myself.

The Trio's: tears of gladness Thank you, Hanamichi. You are our life savior.

Youhei: light smile Hanamichi, we wish you luck.

S. Guntai's : GANBATTE NEE, HANAMICHI !!! chibi mode great flag of Japan as background

Hanamichi walk away from the army. He wearing a black cloth, which tied under the end of his nose bridge, covered his head and face.

**__**

The sound of Mission Impossible Theme Song.

Hanamichi: Hmm … now where's that Baka Kitsune's house ?

He takes a slip of paper from right pocket of his pants. And then take a look aroundthe neighborhood.

Hanamichi: A-ha, gotcha. See the yellow wood painted house one meter away Megane-kun you're such a good drawer. Putt in the paper inside his pocket

Hanamichi: Mitchy said that the stupid kitsune lived by himself since his parents go abroad evil grin

Hanamichi: jump the short wood fence move in crouching position Hmm … clear. Where the hell he parks that stupid pink bike of his?

Hanamichi's eyes wandering around the area. And finally…

Hanamichi: Ohhh … there you are, you resentful ugly bike.

Rukawa's bike is leaned against the wall. Above it there is a window. From the inside [_isn't it one of the tittle of LP's song_] of the house he can see that the lights still on.

Hanamichi: Why the stupid kitsune isn't sleep yet ?

Hanamichi approaching the bike and about to take it away. 'Till…

Hanamichi: OH MY GOD …!!! Dropped jaw eyes widen in horror

The red head sees something from the clear window in front of him. Something that makes him very extremely shocks. Something beyond his common sense [_yeah, right, as if he ever had one_]. He sees the freshly showered untidy Raven-haired rookie almost naked. The sapphire fox eyes wearing only a very short dark ivory towel dancing around the room. A song from **Nelly** titled **"Number One"** **™ **joined in his dance. He moves smoothly, rhytemly, and sensually that makes the Tensai's heart beating faster and faster.

Hanamichi: puts his hand on the wall to support himself, and turn around slowly Friggin hell, Teme Kitsune … !!!

Hanamichi's keep his dark honey eyes steadily watching the half-naked dancing kitsune without blinking.

Hanamichi: slaps his face Nani kangaetan no, Hanamichi ?

Suddenly a dazzle light blinds his eyes.

Police Patrol: HEY YOU, … WHAT ARE YOU DOING ??!!!!.

Hanamichi: Uh-oh, what the fuck !!! Sweat drop

Hanamichi jump the fence and run like hell in no time. And the police trail him behind.

Police Patrol: HEY WAIIIIIT … STOOOPPP !!!!

Hanamichi: Are you out of your mind, who wanna wait for you, Baka A'ho !!!!!

Rukawa who notice the commotion take a peek from the window. And watch the hilarious scene.

Rukawa: chibi mode **** … Do'aho. …

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Halfway block from Rukawa's house

Takamiya: Why isn't Hanamichi come back yet!

Nouma: Maybe there's something happened to him.

Ookutsu: Maybe the killing fox caught him in the act and …

The Trio's: chibi mode dark aura picturing Hanamichi being clawed by the ice fox

Youhei: Hey, look.

Nouma: Hanamichi, what took you so lo- …….

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WHUZZZZZ … Hanamichi run like jet, leave only but smoke.

S.Guntai: chibi mode sweat drop

Police Patrol: HEYYY … STTOPPP !!!

Suddenly the Police Patrol cut his chase when he sees the guntai's.

Police Patrol: You boys must be his partner in crime !!!!

S.Guntai: NOOOOOOOO …

Police Patrol: So what are you doing here in the middle of the night.

Youhei: We're … we're just y-you know … RUUNNNNN ….!!!!

Police Patrol: starts to blowing his whistle STOOPP IN THE NAME OF LAW !!!!

**__**

Wednesday, two-thirty in the afternoon.

Shohoku High, Basket Ball Hall

Hanamichi: chibi mode droopy tired eyes dark aura around his feature

Everybody: sweat drop

Ayako : light tap on Hanamichi's right shoulder It seems like somebody didn't have a good night sleep yesterday.

Hanamichi: big yawn Hoaahmmph.

Ayako: Is there something happened, Hanamichi-kun ?

Hanamichi : little shock chibi mode the picture of half naked dancing rukawa's chibi fox suddenly pop out and whirlwinds in his mind M-mou sono koto hanashitakunai …

Rukawa, whose come out of nowhere, suddenly stand beside the red head.

Rukawa: adjusting his armband I can see you enjoyed the last night show.

Hanamichi : very shock his face getting redder and redder smoke comes out from his ears .

Rukawa: chibi mode run to the center of the court Do'aho.

Hanamichi: Y-YOU TEME KITSUNE … KONO YAROU … HOW DARE YOU DISTURBED MY GOOD NIGHT SLEEP !!!.

Everybody: sweat drop

The basket ball practice become a living hell for the self-proclaimed Rebound king. He get over whacked by Akagi, Ayako, not the mention with the ball it self. He passes Yasu, and Kogure easily [_wow..._] but when it comes to Rukawa, right at the moment the dancing scene's rewinds in his head. And for added handsome reward, Rukawa himself gives the Tensai small winked. And the ball is transferred to the rookie's hand in a nick of time. And as usual he becomes the loser of the game.

Hanamichi: chibi mode grab his head Of all fucking people WHY MEEEEEEEEE … !!!!

Rukawa: chibi fox mode stand under the basket holding basket ball gasp Hhh … Do'aho …

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O W A R I

A/N :

Well … there you go … my first short fic. I know … I know, maybe to you guys is not funny at all, but hey, I try my best [ _I think it's quite funny_ ]. I wrote this fic, WHILE I WAS STUCK In the middle of working on my school last assignments. Why it's must be a song from Nelly, um … well, it's b'coz I think that the song representing Ru so much [_try to listen to it and imagine the HALF-NAKED dancing Ru, it's fun alright_]. And why there're must be a lot of pink bike, well I think that pink bike is a common stuff in there, look at Kagome's bike [Inuyasha], it's also pink, right. Oh yeah, there's one thing, I don't know about the B-Ball players [Shohoku B-Ball members] EXACT classes, so if there's a wrong thing about that please let me know. Anyway please review, I'll accept all of your comments, criticism, flames, another idea of Hanamichi-torture and all. THANKS .

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Saikou kawaiii : Really cute _Ki otsukete ne_ : Take care _Jya mata ne_ : See you later. _Nani kangaetan no, Hanamichi ?_ : What's on your mind, Hanamichi ? _mou sono koto hanashitakunai_ : I don't want to talk about it _kusso_ : shit _Un_ : yes _Asenna yo_ : calm down


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